Hatchet Jack Needs Some Help.

jeremiahjohnson004sk7The official lookin fellas that come up here on the mountain the other day says Hatchet Jack needs some “verification” as they said as to why he is here else they are gonna remove me. That got Hatchet Jack to start to wonder why the hell he IS here anyways? And it reminded Hatchet Jack of the couple weeks he spent in a school back east when he was just known as, “Jack.”

@IamTalkyTina mentioned something similar when she was up here last. She says, “Jack, you is are a cold hearted man,”
I says to her, “I know Tina, I am frozen. Solid.”

Tina says to me, “You know HJ, you gotta do something with yer life. You can’t just sit here. Ya need something like a badge, you know like a sheriff, or ya gotta get back to school and become something.”

I said, “Jeez Tina, I can’t even move, how am I gonna do that?”

Well, needless to say, she was speechless. Which is rare for Tina. She did say, “Hi, my name is Talky Tina. Do you want to be my friend?” But she says that a lot.

But Jack is asking fer some help. I need some documentation about Jack that I can share with them official looking fellas. Something that says Jack is worthwhile and knows what he is a doin. Anybody got some of that they wanna share?

The Ballad of Hatchet Jack and Talky Tina

Wimmin will make a man do amany things. Even sing. tina-and-jack-redux

Hatchet Jack says this whole thing with Miss Talky Tina has b gottn jus a bit outta hand. With them darn books getting in the way. Colt Wyoming?  Who ever hear a such a name  Well we was up at the chalet as she like to call it, playing some Ro Sham Bo or somethin when after her losing fer a bit, she starts saying kinda mean things. She wernt like that afore. She started wigglin and jumping and leaping around like she was on fire. Must be what this was all about?

So I asked her to hi-tail it offn the mountain and leave me be. Thats when it overtook me. The song jus creapt up ontop of me like that dang bear what kilt me. And I hadda let it out. I calls it Tha Ballad of ol Hatchet Jack and Talky Tina. I scribd the words down too. I am bearn my soul here, so don laugh.

Ballad of ol Hatchet Jack and Talky Tina

cold blue and ice
feeling so alonesome
and the trees what surrounds me
well, I guess they have a grownsome

sittin here looking
fer a long lonely six years
and there is dagger icicles
where there should be some tears

but along comes a lady
what nearly moved me
but I still sit here
jus like a tree

She said, “My name is Talky Tina, and I love you very much
My name is Talky Tina, and I love you very much
My name is Talky Tina, and I love you very much
My name is Talky Tina, and I love you very much

Well she had some issues with long conversations
that was ok, cuz I had them too
sittin on the mountain, snow covered all year
Hatchet Jack one day said, Talky Tina, I love you.”

She said, My name is Talky Tina, and you’d better be nice to me
My name is Talky Tina, and you’d better be nice to me
My name is Talky Tina, and you’d better be nice to me
My name is Talky Tina, and you’d better be nice to me

We played RoShamBo and she used the Spock
but I had advantage cuz I was always a rock
I won and I won and one day she said
in words that dripped out of her mouth, blood stained and red

She said, “My name is Talky Tina, and I don’t think I like you
My name is Talky Tina, and I don’t think I like you
My name is Talky Tina, and I don’t think I like you
My name is Talky Tina, and I don’t think I like you

cold blue and ice
feeling so alonesome
and the trees what surrounds me
well, I guess they have a grownsome

sittin here looking
fer long lonely six years
and there is dagger icicles
where there should be some tears

but along comes a lady
what nearly moved me
but I still sit here
jus like a tree

My Recollection of ol’ Colt Wyoming

I seen that varmin Colt Wyoming up in the Utes, Colorado way. That man was always full of whiskey and lead. He been shot so many times. Mostly by women now that I think on it.

You know, I seen this Talky Tina gal has some insights into books and what not. Well, I don’t read much, but I can tell you a bit about that fella Colt.

See Colt like the women. Lots of them. And what he liked even more than that was groups of them. And what that man liked even more than groups of wimmin, was groups of wimmin and men. Strangest part of the thing is that he usually just liked t watch the stuff what happened.

I ain’t saying what he was doin was wrong, I’m just telling ya like I seen it and heard it. There were times when Colt and twenty other wimmin and men was a going at it in the bar. I ain’t kiddin. Sometimes Colt would just be standing there watching, like he was going to write a book about the whole thing. I guess it turns out he did.

Now Bushnell Falls is important cuz that is where he got hisself into a bit of a rustle. See Colt never much settled on one gal. But there was this one lady who took a real shine to Colt and jus wouldn’t let up. Colt finally had had enough of her naggin and he took her out to the Falls. Colt was gonna drown her and be rid of her. The story goes that Colt got a little nervous after seein some riders up on the ridge above the falls. Before he could drown her, she delt him a kick to his privates. I guess he wasn’t the same after. I mean, you know, with wimmin and all. That set on a fella like him real hard.

So that is what I know about ol Colt Wyoming. I guess he was just watching so he could write a book someday.


Hatchet Jack Smashes Some Stuff

Well, ol’ Jack has been a bit slow of late. Slow in the head that is. Thick in the head as my pa would say to me. “Son, you got a thick head.”

I heard that a few times.

Every hour.

But you know, kids are resilient and I climbed outta that thick headed thinking about the time I got divorced. The third time, more or less.

So today I was very inspired by our #slaughterhourse4 bunkmate and Camper of the Week @chadsansing. He got to thinking to mash up the daily create and one of the #ds106 assignments. And being a natural blender of things, you know, with the hatchet and all, I figured I chop the heck outta them too. So I did.

I took my #tdc150 Daily Create and smashed it against the #ds106 assignment “an Album Cover.

Here is the original #tdc150 Daily Create


I then and did two of the three required steps in the Make an Album Cover assignment.

In Wikipedia I got this: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/ACCO A darn acronym.

For the Quotes page I got this: http://www.quotationspage.com/random.php3 The lines are, “adequately explained by stupidity.”

So I made this.


Hatchet Jack Gets an Idea!

Today is a big day! We have bunkhouse assignments and we are busy working on our bunkhouse name and gettin all situated! How exciting! I love this time of the year! I am like all unicorned out!

I even had an idea for an assignment. There I was, staring at Twitter in my browser and I noticed the “trending” words and hashtags. I was instantly teleposted (that was a spelling error but I really like the word so I am going to stick with it) back to one of the early assignments I had enjoyed at a camp in the past that asked us to make a poem of a playlist. So I figured I would make a song/poem out of the current trending topics in Twitter. 

So I did.

This is a #BattlefieldAmerica hello wake up!
I got a soul like #WhitePeopleLunches all bread and jam
and I only want more of #MoviesICanWatchAnyTime
Is this is just a momentary moment of Hard Knocks
like the #SignsOfAStrugglingStripper
who wins the Presidential Medal of Freedom?
Or is this a battle works like the Chrome OS and that is like a trip man,
Like a trip on LSD
where I meet Serena Williams
and I whisper I could Die In Your Arms

Not sure if it is a poem or a song or what? But it was fun and while I whittle away some moments here before lunch I thought I would share this. I’ll add it to the ds106 sit as soon as the powers that be get it rockin’ again….

I am very excited to have such a fine group of campers join in our adventures this summer! We are a luck bunch in the yet to be names Bunkhouse 4. My personal favorite possibility thus far is “The Hatchet Hotel” but that ain’t quite as happy as I suppose we should be? And it ain’t just my bunkhouse, it is all of ours.

Hatchet Jack Talks about the Web as a Bowl of Mush

Gardner Campbell

Flickr image by cogdogblog

Gardner Campbell has a nice beard. So does Hatchet Jack and that makes us compadres. Gardner Campbell also don’t like face lifts and ol” Hatchet Jack is not really into the boutique facial look and plastics either. So Jack likes Gardner.

But Jack thinks the internet is like a bowl of mush. Now it ain’t the mush whats important, its the dang bowl. Cuz during our lifetimes of travel, and lord knows Hatchet Jack has wandered, we come acrost many a campsite and many a companions. And some enemies too. Now all them folks have something to offer. Bullets or food or drink and for the better of those options you’ll be wanting a bowl to put that stuff in so you can eat it.

Ya can’t be lookin a gift horse in the mouth, and sometimes ya will want to organize the mush. That is if ya can’t stands the beef mixed up with the beans. And if you carefully place the stuff in yer bowl, and use yer fork, if ya got one, or yer knife to kinda move stuff around, you can divide it up so the stuff don’t get all mixed up. Now Hatchet Jack prefers it all mixed up, and heaps of it, so a bowl works just fine. No need for a plate or a platter or what have ya. Christ, Jack feels lucky to have a damn bowl at all cuz for many years he didn’t have one and eatin’ off yer pants or a plank of wood gets a bit messy.

So, having yer own bowl is important as you travel about. A good bowl that you can paint yer own colors and carve yer name in! A good sharp hatchet also helps cuz ya never know who might come try to take yer saddle or yer bowl. You’ll be wanting to chop their frickin hand off if they try that and a hatchet work great for that sort of thing. That is what Hatchet Jack thinks.

Crafts with Hatchet Jack

Here I have created a nice video about the fun craft of making painted sticks. I love crafts. But, the truth is I had not planned out the episode too well and forgot about the properties of tape and stuff.

Nonetheless, I am excited to share the first installment of “Crafts with Hatchet Jack.”

Hatchet Jack’s First Campfire and TDC

This evening I was able to sit around the fire and plan a bit with other counselors and the administrators. Usually I do not like administrators, but these two are cool. One is an angel and the other looks like an FBI guy. No matter, they are likable and seem friendly. Below is the angel addressing the group.

We spoke about some of the camp logistics and got acquainted with one another. It is going to be all roses and unicorns from here on out. They even noted that we can’t say, “&^% &^%$$@” (Jim Groom) ever. Not ever not once. And the FBI guy really really emphasized that point.

Today I did my first daily create for the summer. I sort of cheated and left a bit of the original in the background just for effect. Hatchet Jack uses Photoshop because he can. What he can’t do is draw for shit with his mouse. So here is my first TDC.

If you laugh, I’ll chop yer fricking hand off with my hatchet. Because I am Hatchet Jack.

Hatchet Jack Layin’ Down the Law

I’ve been thinking about how I need to run the cabin. What is acceptable behavior and what is not? I have a few ideas of course cuz I done this before. But I am curious just how others might be restricting, or allowing, behaviors of the campers.

I have thought about my mom, and how she raised me. Tall as the redwoods and all that. I have thought about the role if structure in my life and how I have been fighting rules and getting in a word of trouble as a result. What is an old man to do with a pack of rascal campers?

I started a list of some rules I have been thinking about. Pretty strict and strait forward. No jumping on the bunks and stuff like that. I am looking for ideas from other experienced campers and staff members. Reaching out for help is ol’ Hatchet Jack.

Here is where some of my early ideas are. Feel free to add some you think are useful. I best get some ground rules set up before them campers take over, right?